When asked what advice I would give a brand new teacher, I had to vet dozens of ideas that immediately came to my mind.  I will share several, but I would focus on one in particular that I believe would be very helpful for a brand new teacher.

Keep in mind, I work in an intermediate school with 6th, 7th and 8th graders.  Every school level has its own challenges, but I think we can agree that the middle years can be a battle at times.  I’ve seen and been a part of situations that would shock you.  They shocked me.  My advice is supported by the good and bad choices I’ve made when working with students, my careful reflection on those interactions, and my desire to get it right and to do better the next time and the time after that.

Apologize.  It sounds odd because it is.  My advice to new teachers is when you make a mistake and it impacts a student, a parent, an administrator or a colleague…apologize.  I find it most effective with students.  As I discussed in another post, mistakes are bound to happen.  When you make a rookie mistake or something really bugs you about an interaction you had with a student and how you handled it…apologize.  

My fourth year of teaching I told a student “you don’t know when to shut up.”  As soon as it came out, I wanted to reel it back in.  You just don’t say that.  For those that know me, the situation had escalated to a pretty high level and I got caught up in the emotion of the situation and said something I regretted.  The student ended up walking out and eventually wrote up an incident report on what I said and shared it with the principal.  

I was called in the next day to the principal’s office, I had already thought about what I was going to say, it was easy.  I was wrong.  I apologized for what I said and I asked for an opportunity to do the same with the student before class, which I did.  100% of the time I have done this it has been effective.  At times, the student will actually share unsolicited what could be construed as an apology as well.  The good news is that you are able to put the situation behind and move ahead.

In other instances where emotions run high, my advice to new teachers is to try to diffuse the situation and neutralize the audience.  The more people dialed into the situation, the more volatile it gets.  Find the right time to deal with an issue.  Don’t rush.  At times, I’ll ignore an interaction and come back to it a few minutes later and invite the student out in the hall.  By then, everyone forgot what happened…except me, and now is the time to deal with the issue.  Obviously, some things need to be dealt with immediately, but many things can wait to allow learning to occur.

I try not to paint kids into a corner with my words, demands or ultimatums.  Give them an out where they can save face and minimize the consequence by compliance.  100% of the time an ultimatum is given, the student will make the wrong choice.  Build steps into your classroom management plan prior to a referral even being considered.  For example: direct conversation in class on the spot, hallway conversation, before school, lunch, after school, before class, after class, email, change seating chart, group with different people. In these conversations, you really have to listen to the student to see where the motivation is or the root cause of the problem.  

Try to keep the conversation between you and the student as long as you can before you seek outside intervention from an administrator or a parent.  I think students appreciate and respect that opportunity to work things out on their own without parental involvement.  When I do go to call home it’s after numerous conversations/actions that I’ve had directly with the student.  When you call home, inform them of what you have done.  You are making them aware.  Allow them to use that information to determine the next step.  See how that works before you ask the parents to do something.  See if the behavior continues.

As I mentioned at the beginning, dozens of ideas have come to my mind beyond what I’ve shared here.  A new teacher can only focus on so much information.  My advice centers around how do you handle adversity and what you might do to remedy the situation with an apology among other things.